Awful news. The Banana from The Masked Singer has mutated into its final and far more sinister form: the Banana Split. Now it consists of two people, who together are ruining dessert as a concept while gracing the stage of The Masked Singer season 6.
We don’t know much about the Banana Split other than the fact that it’s a clear sign of the impending apocalypse, but we do know that two celebrities are trapped inside, begging to be released from its potassium-and-dairy-filled body. And because Masked Singer fans/hostages are a pretty brilliant bunch who should probably be recruited by the FBI, there are already some decent theories about who this devious fruit-based dessert is. But first, we have to examine the evidence.
^ DON’T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EYES!
Honestly, there isn’t much to go on yet. Due to the fact that the Banana Split wasn’t in last week’s episode, The Masked Singer hasn’t BOTHERED to give us an official clue package just yet. Not that those are particularly helpful at the best of times, but ya know. What we do have, however, is this sneak peek:
Wow…it’s giving me nothing!
But we also have this video montage from The Masked Singer’s Instagram, which basically just features Banana Split getting dressed and staring into our collective souls:
The Masked Singer should be releasing a clue package during tonight’s episode, so once that happens we’ll go ahead and add whatever harrowing information comes out of it to this.
Despite the fact that there is very little info on the Banana Split in this moment, the internet still has theories. Some are deranged, but hey—look at the subject matter we’re dealing with here.
A lot of people are guessing that the Banana Split is country music duo Sugarland (aka Jennifer Nettles and Kristian Bush), which kinda makes sense? Mostly because Jennifer is joining the cast of Waitress on Broadway as Jenna from October 19th — November 24th, so she definitely has something to promote!
Several people have suggested that a pair from Dancing With the Stars could be Banana Split, but I’m not so sure. Mostly because Dancing With the Stars is on ABC and The Masked Singer is on Fox, which makes cross promotion sort of unlikely. But hey, maybe ABC and Fox are secretly BFF, who knows.
Attention everyone who thinks A-listers Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani would voluntarily put themselves in a Banana Split costume and join the cast of The Masked Singer: This show has officially rendered you delusional. But don’t stress because I’m right there with you. While there’s almost no chance Gwen and Blake would do this show, I, TOO, DREAM BIG.
Eh. I mean. They kinda seem too fancy for The Masked Singer, but on the other hand they do have kids that might like the show, and they do seem like fun people, so could definitely see them slumming it in a giant Banana costume.
Please take a moment to form a quick prayer circle for the corners of the internet who think Grammy winner David Foster would place himself in a banana costume and dance around on stage. You’re gonna be okay, friend.